my biggest difficulty when i start writing is actually the beginning.
in my head everything is perfect. organized ideas, clarity about the content. then when its time to put it on paper it all vanishes (´• ω •`)
and what does that have to do with this post right now?
nothing lol
actually its not that much nothing. it is about that.
its about not following writing standards. its about being able to be myself. its about not having to put an accent on a word just because its a paroxytone ending in a diphthong. super useful knowledge for anyones life (¬‿¬)
its about talking about whatever i want and writing however i want.
but also not really.
on this blog i have like 9 posts marked as private. the ones i left to think better before publishing...
not because theyre offensive or controversial. most are because theyre too personal. not that i dont have personal stuff already published here, but some are more delicate you know.
so, wasnt this supposed to be my blog where i write whatever i want?
that was the intention...
so i dont know how much nonsense i can write. theres technical stuff mixed with "???" stuff. but i also didnt want them on separate blogs. technical stuff and nonsense is still my stuff.
another thing is i dont want to be stuck on third-party sites. those with character limits and toxic people i barely have control over. like x. its just screaming and performance all the time. not my thing ( ´ ω ` )
i want a space of my own. where i can write whatever i want without worrying if it will fit in a thread or if it will cause chaos in the comments.
and look, i value authenticity. in this world that looks more like a big theater, everyone playing a character all the time. sometimes i also like being the clown on stage. at least when i do it its on purpose (⌐■_■)
anyway, i dont even know where im going with this.
i know i like writing.
irl i talk very little. opening my mouth is torture. except when its to eat tasty stuff.
oops. already getting into personal stuff. should i make this post private? (≧◡≦)